There it was, another needle, puncturing my soft skin. I have good veins, I hear. Apparently not good enough for the student nurse trying to place the IV into my arm. Of course, I get the student nurse. I pretend not to be terrified of this. My baby was coming today and I would subject myself to whatever torture I had to incur to see her hopefully very cute face. They try again and it still doesn’t sit right in my arm, so the student nurse gives up and the actual nurse takes over. I breathe a sign of relief.
Kaylee was in the breech position, meaning her legs were facing down instead of her head. Both me and her father, my husband Steve were breech too, so we thought this kind of cool. I would get my wish, we would C-Section at 39 weeks. I might be the only person on earth that prayed for a C-Section. The thought of something ripping throughout my privates really horrified me, plus I’m lazy. Laboring sounded rough, sounded hard. I like to take the easy way out. My mom also in my ear about how I wouldn’t be able to do it, and how her C-Section was a painless breeze. I was influenced, yet again.
They took me into a room with bright lights and many people. Birthing, it turns out is a public affair. It was just another day at the office for everyone else, but me and Steve. For us it was one of the most special nerve wrecking day we have experienced thus far. The air in the room so cold, I shivered. The epidural was coming. I had heard horror stories of women being paralyzed because the anesthesiologist messed up big time. With this thought in my mind, I arched forward the best I could with direction. I am for sure f-ing this up, I thought. I hoped I would be able to walk again. After what seemed like centuries, the epidural was done. They were placing cold or wet towels (these exact details elude me) on my skin to test and make sure I was truly numb before cutting me open.
My husband entered the cold room with all his surgical gear, teary eyed. I decided it was okay to cry myself. We were so close to having made it, after losing twins last year at 2 months pregnant. It was a long journey here of ups and downs and anxieties. Was I really becoming a mother today? I prayed so.
The anesthesiologist saw my nerves and kindly put on some music and put out a puke bag. It was not uncommon to feel completely and totally nausea and throw up during a C-Section. I pretend to gag a few times, thankfully nothing comes out.
It felt like 15 minutes from start to end when Kaylee was born. The actual procedure itself felt like a blink of an eye. Apparently, it doesn’t take that much time to open the uterus. I waited to hear a cry, and it didn’t come. OMG, something must be wrong, I thought, not again. Always me, but then there was a small cry and I breathed a sign of relief. She’s a beauty, they say. I can’t judge for myself because of the white sheet blocking her. Steve was invited to cut her cord and take pictures. I waited patiently arms strapped down, wondering if I would ever see my baby. I call out, “Can I see her?” The anesthesiologist hears me and summons Steve over, who realizes I had yet to see the baby. She is a little swollen and cheesy, but she sure was a beauty. The tears flooded my eyes. She’s here. I am absolutely in love.
